Monzón

 

Esa noche llovió. Mis esperanzas se inundaron y mis techos cayeron derrumbados. Se nos mojó el futuro con aquella tormenta, y, ya que éramos de papel, también se nos rompió. El viento nos sopló lejos, nos arrastró con sus lamentos y nos separó como hizo con aquellas hojas de árbol. Amanecimos a la deriva entre tanta lágrima, con los pulmones llenos de agua y un pasado sin respirar. Al poco rato también nos ahogamos. Nunca supimos nadar.

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Cinco de Mayo & the Battle Against Oppression

We need more people like you. Here is my reblog!

Zone of Non-being

Cinco de Mayo is not an opportunity to make a caricature of Mexican culture. Every single year – as if on schedule – people break out their sombreros, draw on crooked mustaches, and add the letter “O” at the end of every word to mock the Spanish language. This is neither cool nor funny.

Be mindful of the historical and present relationship between the USA and Mexico. 15% of the USA’s land mass was annexed from Mexico. Since 1993, the U.S. has used NAFTA to turn Mexico into a warehouse for cheap labor and products. President Trump has referred to Mexicans as “rapists,” vows to build a wall at the border, and plans to deport millions. Mexicans and Latinx people more generally are under attack.

That being stated – Cinco de Mayo began as more than just a celebration of culture. It was a fight against an oppressor. On May…

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To the lost selves

 

What will you do after you lose yourself?

Will you go to all the places you’ve been in the hopes of finding your face among strangers? Will you let yourself go?

Will you try to find a way back to you?

And if you stay lost, would you wait forever? How long will it take you to move on? Will you keep on searching?

 

 

If you lose yourself, where would you go?

Letters from your future

Dear 2008,

Look how far you’ve come. You are this close to outgrow adolescence. You did well, it wasn’t that difficult, was it? I told you that you would get through it with no major issues. Well, you had some, but they didn’t get you, you moved pass them and got over them. I am proud. You are still lacking in the responsible department, still skipping classes and making teachers kick you out. Well, it cannot be helped, at least now you know you are smart and can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it. You have proved it as well.

Remember? You were never the intelligent one in your family, you were the pretty one. No one expected anything from you but rebellious acts and bad grades. Your attitude has never helped your case, but you have shown yourself you can do better than all of them can. You have realized you are smart, as or er than they are. You’ll keep proving that, and they’ll know. They’ll also know you are fucked up, but meh. Things come with a price. Just accept it. I think they already did.

….

Remember how you had a list of things you wanted to do to grow up and experience life? You wanted alcohol, drugs, and sex. Now you think the list was stupid, you didn’t need any of those things to become an adult, you only needed to overcome situations and to learn lessons from them. You thought you needed those things to become important and interesting to people. Silly girl, now you don’t care about those things. You roll your eyes at what they think about you. Still, you went for them, scratched one thing at a time until there was nothing else, so you started a new list. Nothing shallow this time. Good. I hope you manage to pursue all of them. Don’t give up. Keep going, there is an end to each path somewhere. Your job is to find it, and when you do, don’t rush out, play with it, use it to your advantage, walk around it and cover all the basic places, then you can walk away.

….

You still have dreams about him, don’t you? I would love to tell you those are eventually going to stop, but they won’t. They keep coming at you, once every while, out of the blue, you’ll close your eyes and feel him navigating the insides of your dreams, you’ll then wake up with that feeling on your chest, the one you get whenever you have nightmares or dreams about him. It won’t ever stop. Again, your fault. Now he’s become your secret, something that only exist within your lips, in silence. You say his name like it’s a sin, you like it. You’ve always like torture. You’re funny that way. He is a pain you’ll never get fully rid of. You are used to it, you don’t even notice it anymore until you see him in your dreams, then everything comes to life and you have to work hard to repress it. That is going to influence the kind of books and movies you’ll find interesting and the kind of things you’ll write about. Absence is your favorite grief now. Believe me.

Again, you are this close to exit adolescence land. It’ll start with a bump in the way, it’ll get bad, then worse, and, finally, better.

Hold on tight. Don’t fall.

Hold on.

Read carefully, take note:

You’ll fall in love. Madly. Don’t mess it up.

You’ll find out who your friends are. You don’t have any. Trust me.

Well, you do have a best friend. He will be there forever.

He’ll also be a jerk and do bad things.

You’ll also be stupid and do bad things.

You deserve each other. Idiots.

You’ll play with people. I don’t think that is good, yet it is fun.

You’ll do an awful thing karma is going to get you for.

You’ll believe in karma after that series of events.

That doesn’t mean you’ll stop being a bad person. You’ll just do it under the water.

Your little brother is going to break his left arm and spend the night at the hospital. The next day, while your parents wait for him to get a surgery, your mother finds out her dad died.

You’ll get the call a few minutes later. To this day you still cannot believe he is gone.

He died of a heart attack. He had been admitted in a rehab clinic for several weeks.

He never recovered.

He is gone now.

Your family falls apart after that.

All of it does.

Hang in there.

 

Your 2017

Fictional Love

 

People, if you are fans of fairy Cullen, Grey and some other weak creatures like those, stay away. I don’t like those kind of characters, not in movies, books or anime. I like my fictional crushes to be hardcore, badass and, why not, slightly fucked up. Those are my favorite.

Let me introduce you to them. You’ll love them. Not.

1.-Kenpachi Zaraki/ Bleach.

This man is the 11 squad’s captain. He is a beast, a force of nature, if you will.

You see, all captains of the soul society must have shikai and bankai, those are the two liberations of each zanpakuto. Kenpachi had neither. I said had because Kubo screwed everything and made him have them at the end. Thank you not, by the way.

That fact made Kenpachi a beast that did not depend on a sword to kick ass. He only used his skills as a fighter. Nothing more, and that was enough to be one of the strongest shinigami in the gotei 13. Besides that, Zaraki loved fighting, cutting people to death and getting himself cut. It was fun, the more cuts you give him, the more fun he’ll get, even if he is about to die. Then, there is this cute pink haired girl that’s always on his back. Well, that was until Tite decided to take that away by turning her into his… nope. Not going to go there. No more tears for you, bastard. Well, Kenpachi is ruthless, he is manly, and deranged, but he is in charge of a little girl he found in the streets and then named after the person he wanted to be like…

Man, he even uses an eye patch to suppress part of his power so that fights last longer and he has more fun.

In addition, even if Kenpachi is not ‘beautiful’ as your typical character, he is sexy. Eff you, he is.

 

2.-Cesare Borgia/ The Family

Meet my first crush. Embrace him. This man can kick every literary character to the sun and back. He was Alexander VI’s son, a cardinal that wanted to be a soldier. He was the first suspect when his brother, the captain, was murdered, he also was in love with his sister after said pope made him bed her to teach her how to bed a man before marrying her to a douche. He also screws every woman that moves, (rapes one of them as punishment), so, as a consequence, he comes down with a case of syphilis and has to wear a mask to hide his scars. His death is devastating. Not a spoiler here, because Cesare Borgia was real, although Puzo made him a good person in a bad family, when in truth rumor has it he was even worse.

You may think: what is wrong with a seventeen year old girl whose first crush is that criminal? Many, many things.

 

3.- The Beast Lord/ Kate Daniels’ Series.

Curran is The Beast Lord, the leader of hundreds of shapeshifters: werewolves, werecats, werehyenas, wererats, lots of werewhatever. He is a cat, a gigantic lion who eats people whenever he is mad. He is violent, controlling and paranoid, but also protective. He is a jerk from time to time, but he has his reasons. This alpha man also tends to be sarcastic and possessive of our dearest protagonist, who also made the list.

I don’t know. I just love him. He is not the kind of guy who only wants to protect the damsel in distress, mostly because Kate does not need protection and makes a terrible damsel, even if she is always in distress. No, scratch that, she is distress itsel. He accepts the fact the woman is strong and even acknowledges that. Of course he is not a complete asshole, so he makes sure people know if they ever harm her, or anyone he cares for, he’ll have their heads for lunch. Literally.

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4.-Jericho Barrons/ Fever Series

Jericho Barrons is a douche. He is also a mysterious creature that comes back whenever he dies. He comes back at the place he died for the first time. He is a weird monster that belongs to a group of weird monsters that share the same curse. He loves people, but never says it; he shows it. He is the owner of a bookstore, has a rude personality and is extremely sexual. What kind of man saves a sex addict with sex, sex and more sex? This one.

5.-Kate Daniels.

Yeah, yeah, so she is a woman. Can’t I have a crush on one? Because I do.

This is the protagonist of my favorite Urban Fantasy series. Urban fantasy is known for the badass women in it. She is, for me, the best of them all. She is intelligent, strong, and takes not bullshit from anyone. She makes the weirdest logistic resolutions, like when the time she had a body to deliver in a job she and her partner Jim had to complete to get money and said partner ditches her to solve a Pack situation. What does she do? The body is too heavy for her to carry, because she also has to carry another thing and cannot leave either one alone. Both of them mean a lot of money and she needs it because she is broke, so she cuts the head off and leaves the body behind. There, problem solved! Also, Kate Daniels doesn’t get even when they kill someone she loves; she punishes them, and it’s amazing.

She gets her ass kicked in every book, but no one will say she is weak. See what I mean, Bella, Anastasia, Hinata, all of you whiny little…?

6.-Ichimaru Gin/ Bleach

The third squad’s former captain is always smiling. He does rude things with a smile in his snakelike face. He never opens his eyes, but when he does it means things aren’t going well. At first you hate him with the intensity of a thousand suns, you wish he would die the most painful death, and when he does, you are destroyed and mourn him as if he were a real person and not a character a fucked up Tite created to shatter your soul.

Ichimaru is a bad guy who does bad things for a good reason. He betrays everything in the hopes of avenging the only person he cares about. When he fails, it doesn’t matter because he is glad he apologized to her beforehand, still he regrets not giving her back what they took from her, and then, to break your heart and fill your eyes with tears, he says:

If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and began devouring humans, and from the same mouth you devoured humans, you cried out to me, “I Love You!” Would I still be able to say “I Love You,” the same way I do today?

7.-Revy/ Black Lagoon

Another woman, huh? Well, this one is special.

Revy is fucked up, she is a sociopath who loves killing people with guns in both of her hands. She has a traumatic past, which makes her the monster she is. She doesn’t care what people say about her, doesn’t care about doing what they want. She slays.

Revy is the only woman in a group of four people. She is part of Black Lagoon, a small company that woks as bounty hunter. She is the brute force, the one in charge of killing people when they get their way. There are two more badass women here, but Revy is my favorite, she may not be as powerful as Balalaika, or as experienced as Roberta, but she is passionate and funny. Not on purpose, by the way.

8.-Dracula/ Duh

Well, Dracula needs no introduction, so… Besides, you knew he had to be in my list.

9.-Itachi Uchiha/ Naruto

Itachi Uchiha is a prodigy that could have been a Hokage. I say could have because he slays his clan and becomes a criminal. He allows his little brother to live, makes him hate him and tells him he must survive in order to kill him one day. Then you are told Itachi did what he did to keep the peace in the village. He let his brother live because he loved him. Everything Itachi does is for Sasuke. He even joins Akatsuki to keep an eye on them in case they become a threat to his village and, therefore, to his little stupid brother who wants to kill him. He dies in the hands of Sasuke because that’s the way he planned everything out. Almost just like freaking Ichimaru.

10.-Byakuya Nii Sama/Bleach also.

I gave Nii Sama the tenth position because he is not as savage as the other nine. In fact, he is not savage at all. He is sophisticated, arrogant and cold, yet he is willing to kill people to protect his pride and his people. His shikai and bankai are pink, damn it, and yet they kick ass. They are pieces of sword that look like pink petals when he releases an attack. Imagine a million of those things flying around and then piercing your skin. No, thank you.

And, have you seen him? He is gorgeous.

What are your fictional crushes? Are they like mine or less messed up?

 

 

Sad Little Moments

 

You know it is happening. The clock tick tocks seconds and minutes away, you let go of the past and wait for the upcoming events, you hold your body still and stop breathing. You know it will hit you with full force, it may knock you down and break you, but there is nothing you can do to stop it. You brace yourself. Fear runs through your veins, not blood, anticipation fills your eyes with tears, and it is coming, you feel it with every inch of your skin: chills run up your spine, the beating sounds of your heart are all you can hear, for they crash hard against your chest. You run fast, hide, scream and shout, but know it will find you.

Eventually it will be there.

You cannot delay it forever…

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Letters from your future

Dear 2007:

You are finally coping with college life, although you hate to wake up at 5 am. You have to be at school at 7 o’clock, and it is an hour and a half trip. You hate it, every day you wake up, see the dark sky, your warm blankets and feel like crying, you promise to sleep all afternoon once you get back, but you never do. Still, that thought is enough to get you through the day. You are lazy, after all. You will always be. You are even tired of existing. Do you really have to open your eyes and get moving? Yes, you do, unless you are dead, then you can stay still forever and not do anything. Not asleep, not awake. It must be despairing. Can you feel it? Yes? Then move. And you are not depressed, stop thinking about it. You get sullen with new chapters all the time, but things always get better. Or worse. Remember, things can always worsen, and they will. Trust me, honey: they will.

You have one more year to go until the road gets bumpy. Never mind that, it gets a bit bumpy this year. Hold on tight:

Your dad’s mom falls in the bathroom. She hits her head really hard, ends up in the hospital. She’s leaking some fluid that spreads all over her body. Your grandfather knows what it means, you can see it in his green, sad eyes. You go to see her, they ask for your id, but you don’t have one because you thought you’d never need it. You do, baby face. When you see her, your heart breaks. Her face is swollen purple, she is asleep, cannot hear you or feel you. You kiss her forehead and say goodbye. She dies the day before your birthday. You spend your special day at her funeral. Your soul mourns for your dad’s sadness, he hangs up on your mom when she tells him his had died. You cry, because you never had a special relationship with her, and now she is gone and your dad is all alone. He has brothers, sisters, but no mom and dad. He must feel so lost.

You remember you grandmother used to be mean to him. She was a horrible person with the prettiest eyes you’ve seen, and then everything stopped. Menopause broke her, and then she got sick. Do you know what disease? Her hands and feet were always shaking, she lost the spark in her gaze, looked nowhere and smiled all the time. Her eyes filled with tears whenever you visited. She died down as time went by. Withered away until that day. Remember?

You have to go home that day, to another state, to another city. You go home alone. That’s when you feel really lonely, get it? No the previous times.

It is sad, but your dad recovers. It takes time. Don’t be mean to him, don`t. I know you guys fight, but he loves you, and you’ll hurt so much if something happened to him. And it does. You don’t believe it until it does. Be good. He is deserves it. Also, what’s with his mustache? You mom has only seen him once without it, you need to find a way to shave it all off. Do it, I am curious.

Now you now, your birthday can be also bitter and sad. You’ll never forget any of it, and as you remember, you’ll feel all the emotions you had back them. You’ll relive the moment, agonize it, die it, and then snap out of it. Move on.

This years is hard, but it’s also good. You do stupid things. This is it. Say goodbye to the innocence I’ve been telling you to hold on to, for you finally let it all go.

You are never going to listen to me, are you?

Tips to survive (do what you want):

Don’t drink mescal. It’ll give you the worst hangovers ever. They last all day, and make all the house smell of alcohol and sin.

Stop it with the Chomsky thing already. He is still alive.

You’ll do something really stupid. No hard feelings. No regrets. Meh, you are not sentimental.

You’ll lose a friend over alcohol. You won’t remember pieces of information because, apparently, you can forget things when you are really drunk. The things you do remembers make you blush.

You’ll be drinking outside the building with a couple of friends. There is a place that is nearly hidden from people, where you go to talk or have some fun. You’ll want to go to phonology class because you like it, they won’t. You’ll convince them, drag their asses back to the classroom. You’ll also be a bit tipsy. Five minutes after the class starts, the professor will kick you out. As you leave the classroom, your friends will look at you with murder written all over them. You`ll wave them goodbye and laugh. At least you’ll try to be responsible.

Someone will make your heart skip a bit. It only takes a kiss. Don’t ruin it.

You’ll lose your marbles. Maybe forever.

This year is the last time you hear her voice, also the last time you write each other letters. You don’t know it, but you’re starting to grow apart. In a few years there will be nothing left.

Enjoy school. You’ll miss it.

Your 2007

My confession

The time you didn’t say goodbye.

Remember?

I knew you were leaving. I saw it in your eyes, a promise about to become a truth. The blue in you gaze no longer held the dark in mine, it was looking for another horizon, for a place where you no longer were by my side.

I heard it in your voice, in the words you mumbled reluctantly, as if no longer meant for me. They were empty, too. Mere sounds, no meaning behind the mask; lies you kept on telling. Pretend games your lips created. I heard them all, even what you left unspoken. Silences can also scream. Can you hear them? Do they say my name?

I read it in your face, in every move you made. Your smile didn’t reach your eyes, your lips never longed my mouth. Those hands didn’t need my flesh, and your body never asked for mine. I read your every letter, yet none of it made goodbye. Were you trying that hard to leave me behind?

I could also feel it, the chills running up my spine, your absence settled between these arms, and you were still there but gone forever. No need to shout, your body sung the lullaby.

You thought my heart would be broken. Where are you? You thought I’d ask. Search high and low, even call the cops. You thought I’d ripped apart, but baby?

Here is my secret.

That night I let you part.

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Now for the dramas

Dramas (or Doramas, in case you are Japanese) are Asian soap operas, let’s not sugar coat it, ok? The thing is I hate soap operas, it is always the same crap: poor girl meets rich guy, they fall in love at first sight and have to fight for their relationship as the villains want to separate them. It’s all the same garbage. The reason I enjoy dramas is because they are different (some of them aren’t, but I just ignore them). They go from comedy to horror, portray different situations, and make you laugh. There is some innocence to it, as well. Also, the best part is that they only last 12, 10, or 20 episodes and then that’s it. No more story for you. Yay.

Here are my top favorite.

1.- Kimi Wa Petto.

This was the second drama I watched. It is Japanese, and even though I like Korean drama better, this sits at the top of the list, looking down at them and laughing in their faces.

Sumire Chan is a successful woman who never smiles and who has constant headaches. She is lonely because everybody feels threatened by her, especially men. She is tall, pretty, intelligent, and strong, but stupid men only want someone inferior so they don’t feel uncomfortable, so it is safe to say she is unhappy. Then one night, as she is returning home from her job, after punching her boss, she finds a big box outside her apartment building. She peeks over and sees a man inside. He is hurt and unconscious. She drags the box to her apartment, heals the man’s wounds, feeds him, and lets him sleep in her couch. The next morning she goes back to work. When she comes back, she realizes the man is still there, he doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay with her. After struggling for a few moments, she tells him he can stay with her if he agrees to be her dog. He accepts right away since he has no dignity, and they begin having a master/dog relationship.

It sounds humiliating, right? Well, it’s not. It’s funny. The girl finds out she needs the guy, because, even if she is older, taller, smarter and more successful than he is, he doesn’t give a crap and accepts her. She can only cry in front of him, he sees the real person she is so she doesn’t hide it anymore, and he needs her attentions. They are both hilarious together, and, let’s face it, Momo, the man dog, is really cute. I wouldn’t mind having him as pet. Just saying.

 

2.- My name Is Kim Sam Soon.

Kim Sam Soon is a baker who get dump by her boyfriend after she finds him cheating on her. She is in her 30`s, and it seems she is a little bit chubby by Korean standards. The poor girl is looking for a job, she is also wanting to settle down and have a family, but she cannot do it because of her looks.

She meets the owner of a restaurant, this guy is looking for a pastry chef, and after she slams her cake in his face (they had a rough first impression), he thinks she is the one he wants. Well, as expected, she takes the job, but soon finds herself in a complicated relationship with her boss, since he is rude, weird, and wants her to pretend she is his girlfriend just to keep his mother away from him.

This is a lovely story. The drama is a comedy, but it also has touching moments. Kim Sam Soon is a wonderful woman who doesn’t let people mistreat her, she is passionate, funny (sometimes not on purpose), and loyal. I always watch this drama, as it makes me feel at home. If you see her dance, then you’ll have an idea as to how I look dancing. It’s exactly like that, I swear someone recorded me and made a Kim Sam Soon out of it.

I’ll sue them.

3.- Coffee Prince

A girl who looks like a boy, who is always mistaken for one, needs money to support her family, so she pretends she is one to have a job at a coffee shop where only men work. She makes friends with the boss, a chaebol who has to succed at that business so he can go to pursue his dream as toy maker (I think). Nonetheless, their relationship becomes a bit different once they start feeling things they should not be feeling. The poor boss thinks he is falling in love with a man, he suffers so much it’s actually sad, and the girl, well, she has to act like man. She is the main income in the family, so she does everything she can to support her mom and her sister, even if that means shoving her feelings aside and let her partners treat her like one of the guys. Well, it’s not that difficult, she has fun after all.

4.- Answer Me 1988

I can easily say this is my favorite out of all the dramas I’ve watched. Kimi wa petto is beautiful, but this one is perfect. This is a story about five teenagers and their families back in 1988. You don’t only get to know the five friends and their typical problems, but you also take a peek at what happens inside their home, their relationships with mom and dad and their siblings, and also you know about the differences among them. They all have different backgrounds. You have a girl who is not that smart at school, who has a brother and a sister, whose family is poor. She shares a birthday cake with her sister every year, her sister is short tempered and rebellious, and she feels her parents do not love her like they love the other two. You have an innocent guy who is a genius at some game I cannot remember, but extremely clumsy in all other departments. He lives only with his dad, since his mom died when he was a kid. You have a poster guy with a brother, a cheap father and her funny mother. They used to be poorer than family number one, but became rich after the older brother won the lottery. There is the normal guy, he is kind, a loving brother, a support for his mom (he doesn’t have a dad, he died as well), and a good friend. And finally, we meet a guy who is not doing that well at school, either, whose father is the principal at his school, and whose mother is away all the time, working. He gets into all sorts of problems just because he wants his parents to pay more attention to him. All of them go back to the infancy, they grew up together, so they are good friends and really know each other.

The reason I love Answer me 1988 is simple. It is a lovely story that teaches you a lot of lessons. It makes you realize the love mothers have for their children, the pain your parents feel when they lose theirs, the struggles they overcome to give their children what they need, to put food on the table and buy them, if not a lot of things, something, like an ice cream. It talks about the bonds you create with your friends, with your siblings, and the situations you go through as teenager, the people you have a crush on, the problems with your teachers, and whatnot. It also makes you laugh out loud all the time, but at the same time it makes you cry. It’s a perfect combination.

Plus, the Answer me series are famous for two things: the goat sound at whatever funny scene, and the mystery as to who is the protagonist’s husband. Throughout the series there are scenes where the grown up characters show up, talking about said past, and you know the female protagonist has a husband, and that husband in within that group of friends, but you don’t know which one is he, so you keep guessing all the time.

5.- Answer Me 1994

Like Answer me 1988, it gives us the story of a group of friends who live in the same boarding house. All of them have different personalities, but they are together and love each other. This story, unlike the other one, only focus in the main protagonist’s parents, who own the boarding house and run it. This one is not as touching as 1988, but it has its moments. The three of them are something you don’t get to see often, there is certain deepness to them that makes it impossible for you not to like. Then there is the Busan accent. I love it.

6.- Answer Me 1997

This is the original, the first one. It was so successful they produced the other two.

In this story there is a girl who is a huge fan of a Korean boy band that was very famous back in the day. H.O.T. She is crazy about the band, so she goes to every concert and to every fan meeting even if it means having problems with her dad. There is nothing more for her but those guys. Never tell someone like her the guys suck. Never.

Of course we also have the group of friends she is in, and within that group you can find her childhood friend, a guy who happens to have a crush on her and live next door. She doesn’t see it because she is not very bright and cannot get her head out of the H.O.T guys’ ass.

This is a nice story where you know things about the parents, the bonds, the relationships and the popular culture. Who wasn’t a crazy fan in adolescence? I even remember being crazy about The Backstreet Boys. I made my dad give me a ride to their concert and had my mom go in with me. Also I made my boyfriend go with me and sing their songs, but that was on 2015, so…

7.- You Are Beautiful.

Meet a girl who wants to become a nun just because, she has a twin brother who managed to be accepted in a boy band that’s really famous as the new vocalist. Only her brother is not available in the moment because he had a complication of some sort and must remain hidden until it is solved. Now, what’s with that? She has to pretend she is her brother while he is out. So she becomes Go Mi Nam, a clumsy boy who is new in the band and who brings nothing but trouble to the leader, who wants him out. Then, the leader (cutie pie) finds out he is a she, his first reaction is to rat on her and get her out forever, but then she tells him she wants to find her mother; the only reason her brother wants to be famous is so that he can find the mother they grew up without. She promises she’ll leave after she finds it. And that’s how it all starts.

I’ll admit You are beautiful is too innocent for me, but meh, I happen to enjoy innocence from time to time, in a low dosage, then I read something gory just in case I am in danger of becoming a sweetheart.

 

8.- Faded To Love You.

Everything starts out fine, you laugh and enjoy the story. A girl who gets accidentally pregnant with a chaebol has now to marry him. The girl is a doormat, people treat her horrible and she is too shy to speak up. The chaebol is a rebel who urges her to value herself the way she is. Then somebody drugs them and they end up having sex (it can happen in tv, you know) After they find out she is pregnant they get married and live together, but only in a pretend game. Eventually they grow fond of each other, begin feeling happy, and shit goes down half way through the end, which mean you spend the other half with your heart broken and your hopes shattered.

Gae dong shik, how could you?

9.- Hello Monster (Remember You)

This is the sweet, not that sweet, story of a man who is too smart, he is going to help the police find criminals with his smartness and analysis. He is a genius who is trying to solve a series of crimes that keep him interested and concerned because there is something familiar in them, so he is forced to cooperate with the police investigation team. He has a sad story; his dad was murdered, he lost his brother, who disappeared when his dad died, and whom he forgot because of a head trauma. Aw, come here, poor thing.

He suspects the crimes are connected to the psychopath who killed his dad back them, but as he investigates he finds himself discovering things that may be better off forgotten.

I love the story between this guy and his younger brother, and I love his younger brother. If you know the kind of person I am, you’ll know what kind of monster, I mean, person, the brother is. Hello, Monster.

 

10.- The Time We Were Not In Love.

There is nothing I love more than childhood friends who love each other romantically.  The Time We Were Not In Love is one of those stories. We see these best friends live in the present, sometimes we see them live the past, and we learn why they are friends, why there are not something more, why they are the way they’ve become. It’s a ride to the past and back to the present. It is sweet, I admit I cried at the end, damn it. Also, I love Ha Ji Won, she is an amazing actress who keeps me interested every time I watch something she is in.

This drama makes you hate the characters, love them, enjoy their friendship, slap you in the forehead, and always cheer them. They have always loved each other, the time was just never right.

Sigh.

 

So, there are a lot of dramas, but these are the ones that make my heart hurt from time to time. Of course, there are others that could have also made the list.

Hana Yori Dango.

The Secret Garden.

Lie To Me

Heartstrings.

Descendants Of The Sun.

 

Letters From Your Future

To my  2006:

You have managed to embarrass yourself over and over again. The older you are, the clumsier you get. True that. Do you want to know how many pair of glasses have you broken by falling down, stepping on them or just cleaning them up? Why are you breaking glasses? You may be wondering. Well, because your vision is bad, which you would know if you wore the glasses your mom bought you after they were prescribed to help you see things better. You’ll need them, and after you wear them for the first time, you’ll never leave them. You are a four eyes person now. Don’t worry, you look pretty. Back to clumsy situation, let me ask you something: what did you feel when you had that most embarrassing situation? Did you feel you wanted to die like I did back in that day? You’ll always remember that scene with a smile on your face. You were so innocent you blushed with every compliment thrown your way, now you roll your eyes and think you’ve heard all of those words before, and yeah, you know how pretty or smart you are, you have a mirror and a mind where you get to hear the smartness before it leaves your lips. You were sweet, you liked a boy and you could not stop looking at him, you stuttered when you were forced to talk to him because your friends would call him and pushed you to him just so that you would get a chance. That would have been sweet if you had only had a crush on one guy, but you didn’t. You had crushes everywhere, and all of your friends knew, the bastards. But, remember? The six of you hanging around outside of your classroom, mostly because you were kicked out, talking and laughing. That’s not feeling alone anymore, isn’t it? You found your way just like I said it would happen. Of course this doesn’t mean you don’t yell at them and they don’t tell you what a horrible temper you have, but meh, you love them. You are good together, everyone knows it. Do you want to know what else anyone knows? That it’s about to end.

This 2006 you close another chapter, you go to college, back with your parents. Everything has been planned out, you are excited, yet afraid. Don’t worry, nothing bad happens to you, everything goes ok, not perfect, but you can live with it. That’s the reason why I encourage you to enjoy the remaining time you have with your friends. Try to make the most of it, find a way to keep in touch, don’t let them go to waste, don’t let your friendship disappear into the distance. Don’t, because if you do, you’ll wonder what happened to them, and you’ll feel sad. Out of the five friends you had back there, you still talk to one of them, and you don’t talk; you dm eachother on twitter every now and then. The rest of them might as well be dead now. If you don’t want this to happen, do something about it, or else you’ll just become used to leave people behind and to never see them again, like that boy you left without a goodbye. Just like him and the dreams you cannot stop having about him, after which you wake up with a strange feeling in your chest. Sometimes you don’t remember what you dreamed of, but you always know it was him. Just like your best friend. She left three years ago, you have written each other several letters and talked numerous times on the phone, and yet she was also left behind. Sometimes you’ll tell yourself you don’t need friends, and maybe you don’t, but you do need to remember the times you were younger and the person you used to be before you became me. That being said, try to keep them, Lady Wickham (you’ll understand the reference in a few more years, hang in there).

These are the things you’ll remember the most of the beginnings of 2006.

Your teacher left the classroom because your friends told him you had a crush on a twin next door. He went to grab the twin by the arm, brought him to you, made all of your classmates laugh and cheer, kicked you out of his classroom so you could talk to him, and slammed the door in your face when you tried to go back to your seat.

You had your first fantasies with the ballet dancer, who was three years older than you and had a piercing you liked to toy with. Two, actually. He was hot, let’s face it. You would have like him to be your first. But, well, you never saw him again, so it didn’t happened.

You got drunk, tried to act sober, and got caught anyway.

You almost crashed all the times someone tried to teach you how to drive. You also tried to run people over. Just the ones you disliked. Not a big deal, really.

You pulled the nicest prank ever. You almost gave someone a heart attack.

Your friends made you a birthday party despite you didn’t like to hang out with them outside of school.

A friend ran towards you and hugged you with all her strength. She was crying because she did not get in the college she applied for. You ran your fingers through her hair as you tried to soothe her. You were not a douche back them. Not much, anyway.

The look on your grandparents’ eyes when they found out you had gotten in at the first and only college you applied after you stated you were going to take a sabbatical if you didn’t get in.

Saying goodbye to your friends at the graduation party.

 

And now the tips to survive your new life by the ends of 2006.

Don’t feel lost. College is not what you expected, but it grows on you.

You’ll fail morphology once, almost twice, but then you’ll love it.

Yeah, everything is in another language. It’s a good thing you understand, right?

Pay attention to linguistics. You’ll fall in love.

Stop wishing Noam Chomsky was dead. He is not.

You’ll find it hard to make girl friends, they all hate you, but you have the boys. You’ll be the only girl in a group of guys. The things you’ll learn.

You’ll have your first job at a vet shop. You’ll quit in a month or two.

Use your glasses, otherwise you won’t be able to take notes.

Don’t feel out of place in there. I know it’s hard to grow up, but you have two more years before you are required to seriously become a responsible adult.

Enjoy. It gets better.

 

From your 2017.