Fictional Love


People, if you are fans of fairy Cullen, Grey and some other weak creatures like those, stay away. I don’t like those kind of characters, not in movies, books or anime. I like my fictional crushes to be hardcore, badass and, why not, slightly fucked up. Those are my favorite.

Let me introduce you to them. You’ll love them. Not.

1.-Kenpachi Zaraki/ Bleach.

This man is the 11 squad’s captain. He is a beast, a force of nature, if you will.

You see, all captains of the soul society must have shikai and bankai, those are the two liberations of each zanpakuto. Kenpachi had neither. I said had because Kubo screwed everything and made him have them at the end. Thank you not, by the way.

That fact made Kenpachi a beast that did not depend on a sword to kick ass. He only used his skills as a fighter. Nothing more, and that was enough to be one of the strongest shinigami in the gotei 13. Besides that, Zaraki loved fighting, cutting people to death and getting himself cut. It was fun, the more cuts you give him, the more fun he’ll get, even if he is about to die. Then, there is this cute pink haired girl that’s always on his back. Well, that was until Tite decided to take that away by turning her into his… nope. Not going to go there. No more tears for you, bastard. Well, Kenpachi is ruthless, he is manly, and deranged, but he is in charge of a little girl he found in the streets and then named after the person he wanted to be like…

Man, he even uses an eye patch to suppress part of his power so that fights last longer and he has more fun.

In addition, even if Kenpachi is not ‘beautiful’ as your typical character, he is sexy. Eff you, he is.


2.-Cesare Borgia/ The Family

Meet my first crush. Embrace him. This man can kick every literary character to the sun and back. He was Alexander VI’s son, a cardinal that wanted to be a soldier. He was the first suspect when his brother, the captain, was murdered, he also was in love with his sister after said pope made him bed her to teach her how to bed a man before marrying her to a douche. He also screws every woman that moves, (rapes one of them as punishment), so, as a consequence, he comes down with a case of syphilis and has to wear a mask to hide his scars. His death is devastating. Not a spoiler here, because Cesare Borgia was real, although Puzo made him a good person in a bad family, when in truth rumor has it he was even worse.

You may think: what is wrong with a seventeen year old girl whose first crush is that criminal? Many, many things.


3.- The Beast Lord/ Kate Daniels’ Series.

Curran is The Beast Lord, the leader of hundreds of shapeshifters: werewolves, werecats, werehyenas, wererats, lots of werewhatever. He is a cat, a gigantic lion who eats people whenever he is mad. He is violent, controlling and paranoid, but also protective. He is a jerk from time to time, but he has his reasons. This alpha man also tends to be sarcastic and possessive of our dearest protagonist, who also made the list.

I don’t know. I just love him. He is not the kind of guy who only wants to protect the damsel in distress, mostly because Kate does not need protection and makes a terrible damsel, even if she is always in distress. No, scratch that, she is distress itsel. He accepts the fact the woman is strong and even acknowledges that. Of course he is not a complete asshole, so he makes sure people know if they ever harm her, or anyone he cares for, he’ll have their heads for lunch. Literally.


4.-Jericho Barrons/ Fever Series

Jericho Barrons is a douche. He is also a mysterious creature that comes back whenever he dies. He comes back at the place he died for the first time. He is a weird monster that belongs to a group of weird monsters that share the same curse. He loves people, but never says it; he shows it. He is the owner of a bookstore, has a rude personality and is extremely sexual. What kind of man saves a sex addict with sex, sex and more sex? This one.

5.-Kate Daniels.

Yeah, yeah, so she is a woman. Can’t I have a crush on one? Because I do.

This is the protagonist of my favorite Urban Fantasy series. Urban fantasy is known for the badass women in it. She is, for me, the best of them all. She is intelligent, strong, and takes not bullshit from anyone. She makes the weirdest logistic resolutions, like when the time she had a body to deliver in a job she and her partner Jim had to complete to get money and said partner ditches her to solve a Pack situation. What does she do? The body is too heavy for her to carry, because she also has to carry another thing and cannot leave either one alone. Both of them mean a lot of money and she needs it because she is broke, so she cuts the head off and leaves the body behind. There, problem solved! Also, Kate Daniels doesn’t get even when they kill someone she loves; she punishes them, and it’s amazing.

She gets her ass kicked in every book, but no one will say she is weak. See what I mean, Bella, Anastasia, Hinata, all of you whiny little…?

6.-Ichimaru Gin/ Bleach

The third squad’s former captain is always smiling. He does rude things with a smile in his snakelike face. He never opens his eyes, but when he does it means things aren’t going well. At first you hate him with the intensity of a thousand suns, you wish he would die the most painful death, and when he does, you are destroyed and mourn him as if he were a real person and not a character a fucked up Tite created to shatter your soul.

Ichimaru is a bad guy who does bad things for a good reason. He betrays everything in the hopes of avenging the only person he cares about. When he fails, it doesn’t matter because he is glad he apologized to her beforehand, still he regrets not giving her back what they took from her, and then, to break your heart and fill your eyes with tears, he says:

If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and began devouring humans, and from the same mouth you devoured humans, you cried out to me, “I Love You!” Would I still be able to say “I Love You,” the same way I do today?

7.-Revy/ Black Lagoon

Another woman, huh? Well, this one is special.

Revy is fucked up, she is a sociopath who loves killing people with guns in both of her hands. She has a traumatic past, which makes her the monster she is. She doesn’t care what people say about her, doesn’t care about doing what they want. She slays.

Revy is the only woman in a group of four people. She is part of Black Lagoon, a small company that woks as bounty hunter. She is the brute force, the one in charge of killing people when they get their way. There are two more badass women here, but Revy is my favorite, she may not be as powerful as Balalaika, or as experienced as Roberta, but she is passionate and funny. Not on purpose, by the way.

8.-Dracula/ Duh

Well, Dracula needs no introduction, so… Besides, you knew he had to be in my list.

9.-Itachi Uchiha/ Naruto

Itachi Uchiha is a prodigy that could have been a Hokage. I say could have because he slays his clan and becomes a criminal. He allows his little brother to live, makes him hate him and tells him he must survive in order to kill him one day. Then you are told Itachi did what he did to keep the peace in the village. He let his brother live because he loved him. Everything Itachi does is for Sasuke. He even joins Akatsuki to keep an eye on them in case they become a threat to his village and, therefore, to his little stupid brother who wants to kill him. He dies in the hands of Sasuke because that’s the way he planned everything out. Almost just like freaking Ichimaru.

10.-Byakuya Nii Sama/Bleach also.

I gave Nii Sama the tenth position because he is not as savage as the other nine. In fact, he is not savage at all. He is sophisticated, arrogant and cold, yet he is willing to kill people to protect his pride and his people. His shikai and bankai are pink, damn it, and yet they kick ass. They are pieces of sword that look like pink petals when he releases an attack. Imagine a million of those things flying around and then piercing your skin. No, thank you.

And, have you seen him? He is gorgeous.

What are your fictional crushes? Are they like mine or less messed up?




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